A Philosophy on Love

"Thank you and have a nice day," she concluded her speech in a firm tune, closed the transcript with her skilled hands and walked backwards to line up with her colleagues over again. In unison with my heartbeats, the morning assemblage applauded her presentation like always. She unhooked the blue pen from the copy, put it inside her pocket and folded her gentle hands for the prayer. She shut down her pleasant eyes and eased the discomfort in me to gaze her. Her lips set off to match with the rhythm of the chorus. Yes, she was breathtaking. She was breathtaking like the sunbeams that were striking ceaselessly on her hair clips. And from a distance I was the silent observer, breathing at a slow pace and occasionally shutting down my eyes when teachers appeared nearby.

Morning was always gratifying. Her presence used to light up my spirit. There is a divine serenity in one sided love. You are the sailor of your own ship of embodiment. You relish with the delight of someone who is unconcious of your mindset and presenting herself in the most genuine state.

I was not mostly driven by her beauty. Afterall beauty is reference based. It is established by the perceptions of our mind. We have almost no contibution in having a fair skin or a perfect jawline right? Almighty has choreographed each one of us to create uniquely beautiful individuals. No, I must be drawn in by something else, something beyond the panorama of her ravishing persona.

If you look deep inside my heart you will find me yearning to pierce into her soul and make it familiar to mine. There is a lot to learn about any person you come across. You can acquire the knowledge of their in-depth affairs only if you have plenty of interest in them. Couples continue to learn completely new things about their soulmate even if they are together for decades. The process is infinite and so the concept of life partner exists. It is the nature's supreme governance that binds everyone of us with affectionate closeness of mutualism.

Why it's not someone else? Well, every aspect of my circumstances and my senses and with the little push of nature's flow I was infatuated towards her. Why shouldn't I? Just catch a mere glimpse of her life and you will encounter with every elements that will make you go weak on your knees. Fantasies led to thrust and eventually became a need for the dopamine secretion in my brain.

But the truth is that you love someone only to know that he/she loves someone else. That someone loves a third person and thus a complicacy is introduced in your life. You find the glances of your flaws in the mirror you are holding high and get an insight of how imperfect you are. You swallow the lump of facts and strengthen yourself up to lie that you are complete. You begin to question your worth and slowly learn to live with insecurities.

When dreams are coincided with ground realities, you get the clear picture on the amount of chances you have to live the future self you aspired. To love, profound grassroots should be matched and should be convincing enough to compromise on few issues. When prime things of mine were at stake, there was almost no hope to pursue her. My little efforts to get closer to her were also unintelligent. And so the butterflies that used to flatter in my heart for her were being killed brutally one after another.

With time, context changed in my life and she was just an abstract phenomenon for me. I got involved in life's new fundaments. She was away from my vision for years. I had not conversed with her yet.

Circumstances demands modification in preconceived notions. I learnt to compromise and lower down my bars to get along with my new life. Time passed and I ended up being with another self to share a kinship alliance for mutual welfare. We designated it as love. When anything is done half heartedly, cracks develops in it with time. And so our attachment crashed and we broke apart in no time intervention.

Fate unanticipatedly brought her again to my little world. Now I could not see her but I could talk with her virtually. That was completely opposite to my erstwhile situation. Only her soul got to interact with me and trust me, I was mesmerised again with her magical spells of words that gave me an insight of how righteous and angelic she is. She was as breathtaking from inside as she was from outside. Before I could even escape a bit, I fell for her again - this time with great intensity like never before.

The thing with proposal is that you take all the time in thinking about how she is gonna react and you are drenched with the fear of failure. Somehow when you master the gut and evoke your heart out unsatisfactorily since you are anxious, you suddenly start to feel guilty. You perpetrate as if you are the culprit of a heinous crime that you have just committed. You feel like your fate lies in the hands of the one you are proposing.

It's completely okay that she took her time. After she responded, I respected her decision. Afterall she has her own right to choose. If I was fortunate enough she would have been right by my side now. And trust me, I wouldn't have taken her granted if she had put her hands on my shoulder. With time, you learn how things work and how much you actually deserve in that time being.

After any set back, you can just stay stagnant or shift yourself towards new aspirations. Change is hard but being in grief is harder. Don't put everything in a storyline like I did. Keep it vague and uphold its message firm in your heart. Like everything, the impact will lessen with time. I prefered to keep calm and keep believing in love for I had no other choice. With all that happened I came out with a philoshopy on love i.e, no philoshopy works in love. It just happens like the waves in the water, like the blowing of the winds.